THE APPARENTLY NORMAL
Since the first tiny
lizard shimmied up out of the primordial muck, self-preservation, survival
instinct, has been engrained in all of us. As time unrolls, the defense
mechanisms we need to employ change. In many ways, it may have been easier
when the local Stegosaurus was the obvious enemy. In current times, the
dangers are myriad, wrapped in shadows and mercurial. As parents we know to
tell our children not to play in the street. We see the danger clearly.
Don't climb too high up that tree. We see the danger. And parents reading
this know that it is innate. You didn't read a book that warned you how the
cars speeding past your driveway are a danger to your child...you just know
it. Now, however, there are so many forces at work it seems overwhelming at
times. And it's not just parents and kids, it's brothers and sisters,
fathers and mothers...in short, the normal against the....abnormal? I'm not
sure what to call it. Us against them? I begin to feel like someone trying
to describe an alien abduction and probing. People look at you a little
funny. "You against who? Yeah, o.k. pal..I'm sure the Mother Ship will be
here any day".
I have thought about these things for some time and then last week a famous
radio-personality did a piece on the movie "Saw III". I have never been a
"hack and slash" movie fanatic. I don't think I've ever seen one, save for
bits and pieces while channel surfing (pun intended). Well we've come along
way since "Psycho" and "The Birds" where nuance played a much larger role in
thriller films than did graphic close ups of violence. The question is, what
kind of person enjoys a film like this and what does the fact that you enjoy
it mean? Now I have wondered about that for a long time and it applies for
pornography as well, another genre that I've never understood. Can any of
this stuff possibly be healthy, not only to the viewer but to society in
general?
This plays into the protection instinct in an unusual way, at least for me.
I find myself being overly cautious socially with my family. One thing that
always strikes us, from the BTK killer to Tim McVeigh is the "normalcy" of
these people. They are behind you in line at the supermarket. Next to you at
the gas station. The internet, however, has allowed an entire subculture of
pornography and violence freaks to grow unfettered like a bad batch of
mushrooms. In the privacy of homes and offices people, at alarming rates,
indulge themselves with the most deviant forms of entertainment, and yet to
the outside world, they are apparently normal.
Now this causes me concern. As parents with young children our social circle
is in a constant state of attempted expansion. We have very good friends,
good people that we have grown to know and love, but I find my self being
cynical of new entries. You see, I don't want to go to dinner with another
couple if the husband was watching unnatural equine activities on the
internet ten minutes before we arrive. I don't want that guy pouring my wife
a glass of wine. I don't want my kids playing with other kids whose parents
just enjoyed "Saw III" which is nothing more than torture and violence layed
out as entertainment. I ask anybody reading this if I am out of mind,
because I'm not even sure. Am I being to judgmental? Is it unfair? And yet,
I truly feel that way. I don't want to socialize with someone who sells
cocaine or heroin, either, but seems to be a nice person. That person is a
purveyor of grief, a dealer in tragedy and sadness and financial ruin. I
know we can't and shouldn't censor pornography or violence, but we can react
to the consumers of it as a culture. We can let our feelings be known...or
can we?
It's difficult to discuss these things. It is uncomfortable. It's easy to
look away and just say..."arghh...I don't want to think about it.." That
gets us nowhere. All of these things tend to reinforce my belief in the
"culture war" that is being so hotly debated across the country. A lot of
people don't see it, and maybe it's over blown, but there is something going
on. Call it old-fashioned vs. new-fashioned, but I see a lot of damage on
the horizon. Things are changing, some for the better, some not, however we
have to take hold and try to shine some light on the other side. For the
last of us who still remember how it used to be, maybe trying to save a
piece of that for future generations isn't such a bad idea. Maybe a little
scornful glance at that dealer on the corner won't hurt. Maybe a word to a
friend who is dialing up the "Horse-farm" on his computer again won't hurt.
I am tired of trying not to offend. I find it offensive that the "apparently
normal" want to indulge any deviant fantasy they may have and then invite my
children over to play with their kids. If this makes me a little loony, if
this throws me into the category of martian-abductee, so be it. Do I care if
you think I'm crazy? Apparently not.