DON'T FORGET TO BURP
The foibles of our legal system never cease to amaze me, nor does the deft manner in which modern-day lawyers ply their desired meaning from written law. The variations in interpretation are never more bizarre than when they are culled from legal cases. As our culture continues to leave common sense in the rear-view mirror in exchange for a new order of political correctness that infects everything we do, even the most cut and dried cases of right and wrong become blurred and, consequently, difficult to prosecute. Consider this recent case in Sratham, New Hampshire, when Fred Cronin was pulled over for drunk-driving. The case was prosecuted and Cronin lost his license, but was subsequently appealed citing the rules regarding the application of the breath-test.
Those of you who like to drive drunk will want to pay attention here. Apparently, state law requires that before a suspected drunk driver can be given a breath test, there must first be a 20 minute observation period. The arresting officer, in this case Stratham Officer Christopher Call, must be sure that during this 20 minute period, the suspect does not "vomit, regurgitate or belch", otherwise, the 20 minute period must be re-started. Are you getting the picture here? Already, you can smell the lunacy seeping in, given the fact that drunks are unlikely to surive a 20 minute burp-free period following a night of heavy drinking. Additionally, to subject law enforcement to this waiting period only increases the danger of dealing with a suspect, it unneccesarily expands the window of opportunity for something else to happen. So, aside from the asinine foundation of this waiting period premise, flawed as it is right out of the gate, please read further to see how a fun-loving drunk used this loophole to his favor.
During the initial waiting period following Cronin's arrest, he told Officer Call that he had burped. Hearing this, Call restarted the observation period, and after the 20 minutes, gave Cronin the breath test which registered 0.12 percent, well above the .08 limit. Before a required second sample was taken, Cronin told Call that he had burped again. Call then heard Cronin burp again, but described it as a "dry burp." Unsure of what to do with his chronic burper, Call contacted his superior, Sgt. David Pierce, who told Call to have the suspect blow into the machine a second time and accept the results if they were close to the first test. The second blow registered a 0.13 percent. I'm hoping most of you are with me, that is, I'm about 99% sure this guy is drunk. Common sense dictates it, doesn't it? Two tests register well above the legal limit, and the guy is burping like Foster Brooks. Not so quick...
At a hearing before the Department of Motor Vehicles, Cronin argued that the rules surrounding the administration of a breath test were not followed, but the hearings examiner ruled that a "dry burp" does not consitute a "belch", and therefore the 20 minute observation period did not need to start again. The examiner, incredibly, found that the "gaseous mix that flowed out of Cronin's mouth had not emanated from his stomach and contained nothing but air.." Wow!
As you probably already expect, the case is still pending appeal while various lawyers and legal experts wrangle over the sublime difference between a belch and a burp. Heady stuff, to be sure, but we need to get to the bottom of this if we want to be able to continue to keep the streets safe.
So here we have yet another painful example of how and why we can no longer get anything done in this country. I would like to find the author of the "burp clause" in this law and wring his neck. Some holier-than-though legal expert, so enthralled with his own intellect, that he wrote us right into orbit and makes the job of law enforecement just a little more difficult. These are the people who, behind the scenes, work to make all of us less safe, who make it increasingly difficult for the protectors to protect the protectees, and are the real force behind the new world order. Excuse me while I vomit...
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