LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE
This column serves both as an explanation for my tardiness and a written report of an epiphany I experienced. We all know, there is no good time to lose a computer, but there are times that are worse than others. One such time would be prior to a holiday like, say, Thanksgiving, when all the people who fix computers are preparing for a four day weekend. This was the hand we were dealt on the Tuesday before the day that turkeys hate. The computer would "say" only that there was "no input signal". I felt bad for it, as though it suddenly couldn't speak.
This brought an onslaught of new-age home remedies. Advice from various sources poured in..."unplug the modem, count to ten, and plug it back in..." or, "unplug the computer, place garlic in the hard-drive, say these words in Italian....". All heartfelt suggestions, but it was time for a call to our computer trouble shooter. Soon, he was at the scene with his briefcase.
He grunted and squinted, squirmed and scratched. Then, like the Grinch to Suzie Q. Who, suggested he take it to his shop. "I'll fix it up there...then I'll bring it back here." He got me a cup of water and tucked me into bed.
A few days later, we get the news that the "motherboard" is gone. I'm not sure if that's a computer part or a piece of missing S&M equipment. He says he will investigate the cost of replacing the board vs. buying a whole new package. Personal history gave me a leg-up in knowing how that would go.
Naturally, it was cheaper to buy a whole package from Dell than to replace the mother on the old HP. So, we place the order with our personal wish list of features and a few more days go by. My kids are lamenting life at the little house on the prairie, as though we had turned Amish or something. I am having an epiphany realizing that life without a computer in the house is kind of nice. Like days gone by, simpler, cleaner..we're actually having conversations.It reminded me of the times we've lost power during storms, reading together by candlelight like a scene from Currier & Ives.
Then, the new computer arrives and my dream is over. Unpack, unplug and off we go. Almost. The computer comes on, works for five minutes, then shuts down. My wife calls a Dell tech who knows nothing and is on the phone for two hours. "Oh! It runs on electricity?!" The tech suggests that we send it back. I am pleading, sobbing really, asking her to call our trouble shooter dude before we pack it up. In less than a minute on the phone with him, he suggests we check the fans. Off with the side panel, and sure enough, there as a fan hanging there like a dead fish. Screwed back in place, like a Dell customer, it works fine and life slowly begins to get normal again.
I won't soon forget my brief respite though. It was kind of nice to think back to the days, before we were all trained to live with an army of electronic troublemakers, to when the word "e-mail" would have been a typo.